Princess Rescue
by Denabug
Summary: Mario and Link run into a problem when Peach and Zelda disappear again. It seems these Princesses have been keeping a secret from their saviors. Mario and Link go out on a journey to rescue their Princesses again...but will the truth come out?
1. The Endless Waiting

**Authors Note:  
**

**This is a Mario/Link crossover. It is about how both Peach and Zelda mysteriously disappear. Hummmm? So Mario and Link team up to find out this mystery. Please enjoy this story. Tell me what you think. ;)**

**Thank you very much**

**Denabug  
**

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It was lonely in the castle. It was sunny outside but a cast of gloomy hung over the room. There was a table with a bouquet of flowers in the middle. The chairs were a polished wood. Mario sat in the cushy chair with a couple of phone books under him so he could be able to eat at the table. He sat slumped in the chair and his red hat covered his eyes. It had been a long night and one side of his blue overalls was unbuttoned. Across from him was Link in his green tunic looking quite pissed. His sword lay on the table while he had a piece of grass in his mouth he impatiently chewed.

"Whya does Peach every time I am about to do her she happens to get captured by Bowser?" Mario sighed "You always have all the ladies I mean look at you you got the fish freak, the horse chick, fairies, a kinky princess, even a talking boat."

Link stared into the distance then a flashback happens and he tells it out loud "The talking boat is not that great, the King is always like 'Get in me Link! Comon' lets go on a ride just me and you'. It is really creepy. I mean what is his rudder suppose to be, that I really don't want to know. The boat is always whispering to me grip my rudder tighter." Link zones and finally tells the flashback "_One time we were sailing the seas. I was looking for treasure so I jumped out of the boat. He turns to me and says 'Hurry Link get in me, bombing ships are coming. Get in me and grip my rudder tight.' _That was really creepy and Midna don't get me started on her perverted comments to me." Link rambles for a long time.

Mario sighs and continues "Well either way Peach was suppose to be here and I bet she was captured by Bowser." Toad runs in and his diaper is nearly slipping off. "Mario, Princess Peach has just been captured by Bowser!!!"

Mario screams " Are you f****ing serious I just rescued her yesterday!!! Go get Luigi to rescue her he will probably do it."

Toad stutters "Ummm....Luigi is at a bar."

"What kind??"

"A gay, Luigi is gay. Why do you think he never tries to hook up with Daisy?"

Mario grumbles "Now my brother is gay, my princess is captured, Yoshi ate to many apples and is sick. What else can go wrong!!!" Rain begins to pour down. Mario starts screaming and black sensor bars come up. Link looks around peers everywhere in the room "Where in the hell is Princess Zelda! She was suppose to be here." Link's fairy pops up and whispers in his ear. "Are you serious she has been captured again by Ganondorf!! I thought I killed him. He justs keeps coming back doesn't he!! What transportation do I have!" The fairy whispers again. Link yells "Epona is sad because I rode on the boat, and she won't carry me!! Stupid emo horses." Link grumbles and more flashbacks happen "This sucks worse than when the moon was falling._ 'Three days...Three days...are you serious that is all I have to save this place. Then Epona runs off so I can't get anywhere fast.' _or when _'One time I was in the Temple of Time and something stunk so I got out my Lon Lon milk and it was spoiled and my fairies in the bottle had wrinkles.'_"

Mario yelled "Stop with the unnecessary flashbacks, we don't want to hear your disturbed life and how you can't see to decide your age. There is only one way we can solve this problem...We have to go and rescue the Princesses and finally determine what is going on." Mario pounded is fist and pushed is hat back. Link looked at him and said "How are we supposed to get there since I'm not going by water on that perverted boat."

Mario looks at him "Lets get in my go-kart!" Mario puts the key in the ignition and turns the key. The kart puts along about 5 mph then breaks. Mario curses kicks the kart and it takes off without them. "Looks like we are going to have to walk!!" Link treads by foot "We will split up and meet back here!" Both part their separate ways in a desperate attempt to see why their Princesses are always gone.

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**Next chapter Mario and Link split up. Please keep reading.**

**Many thanks**

**Denabug**


	2. The Secrets Revealed

**Authors Note:**

**Thank you to anyone who read the first chapter. I hope you enjoy these Mario and Link stories. Tell me what you think. ;) Thanks so much!**

**Denabug**

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The sun was setting and Mario and Link had already split up to find the princesses. Mario looked into the distance, the sky was painted with vivid red, orange, and pink hues. The breeze made the grass swoosh and Mario footsteps seemed almost eerie. Bowser's fortress could be seen in the distance but it was still a long walk, so Mario slumped by a nearby tree and slept till morning. He had pushed his hat over his eyes and snoozed. In the meantime Link was halfway to Hyrule where he would see where Ganondorf took her. Night approached and skeletons appeared from the ground. Tired and weary the Lon Lon Ranch was nearby so instead of fighting skeletons he ran to where Malon would be. He knocked on the door and Malon opened the door obviously happy to see him. It smelled of chicken poop, and Malon dragged Link to her room. His thoughts took hold and an image of all the ladies in bed with him appeared. He drooled a little, zoned in the image. Malon snapped her fingers demanding to know what he was thinking. Mad she yelled to him "Pervert!". He had to sleep with the chickens, downstairs, with the dad who stared at him constantly. His ocarina started playing so Link picked it up. His ocarina ID said it was Saria. He stuttered, scared to answer it. He called over Navi. "Answer it!" Link whispered.

"No the last time I did she would not shut up! She keep on talking about how cute Zelda is. It scared me, she might be lesbian."

"Someone will have to answer it!! Malon come here!"

Malon walked over seeming quite angry "What!"

"I need you to answer this" Link hands her the ocarina

Malon answer it. Link looked over to see Malon whispering about him to Saria. Mad he snatched the ocarina and hung it up. The the ocarina rang again. Link picked it up only to hand it up immediately. "Telemarketers!"

Mario was finally at the fortress. The door was opened so he walked in. An answering machine sat on the table, curious he checked Bowser's messages.

"Need reptile enhancement try Quick an' Easy. Side effects may be oozing, unable to reproduce or enjoy intercourse, and death." Mario was stunned the skipped to the next message. "Bowser, this is Peach, Mario wanted to do me again could you possibly drop be and capture me. My things are already packed. Oh and I got so Quick an' Easy for you.," Mario's jaw dropped. He marched to Bowser's room. Mario stepped on a goomba. "Ewwww, this is a gross!" He wiped his foot against the carpet. He slowly opened the door to see Bowser and Daisy together and Quick an' Easy on the end table.

"Wheres a Peach!" Mario demanded

"Across the hall" he smiled "She is next!"

Mario slammed the door and went across the hall. He opened it to see Peach half undressed. She gasped, and grabbed her robe. Mario grabbed her arm and drug her to the door. "Youra comin' with a me!" He started to pull her out of the castle annoyed, pissed, and well slightly turned on.

Link had finally got to Hyrule. He waited for the gate to open. It was five minutes late and he was pissed. So to fix the problem he shot a flaming arrow at the person running the gate. It then once the person collapsed, the gate opened. He walked through. Redeads lurked everywhere. They encircled him and jumped. Making humping movements on him. "It's painful and humiliating" He managed to slash them off of him when on started singing. He covered his ears and fled. A sudden realization hit him. "Oh I can tract her down using the ocarina. I will call her then find her location." He played the ocarina. Then he looked at the GPS map that came up in the corner. He rushed to the forest. In a tree near the forest the owl sat. He tried to avoid to run but it followed telling the same thing over and over again. Finally Link got out a fire arrow and shot the owl. He burned to a crisp, smoke ran off of him. Link grabbed his leg broke it off and started eating it was he ran to the forest. He reached the place. He climbed into his own house sword ready to attack in hand. He pushed the curtain aside to see Ganon and Zelda in bed together. He turned white and gasped. "You whore! Now I see why you always disappear. Do I not satisfy Zelda, cause' you never did it with me!"

"Link, you are nice in all but your engaged to a fish I can't deal being your number two in life!"

"She tricked me I only got the piece to save you!" Link grabbed her to him and slapped her. "Your coming with me!" Link took her with him, even though she was only wrapped in a sheet. Both Mario and Link headed with their Princesses where no man would ever dare go alone. Dr. Toad for an intervention!

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**Sorry for thee long time between chapters; I didn't know if anybody read it or not. So Sorry. I will update as soon as possible. Please, if you read this tell me what you think. I would like to hear your opinion. **

**Many Thanks**

**Denabug**


	3. Dr Toad's Surprise

**Authors Note: Thank you everybody who has read this story. Tell me what you think. It is appreciated. Oh and special thanks to **T. Riley.** Your the bestest. Enjoy the reading and please don't sue me for gut busters. =) **_** Warning**_**: You will be surprised!**

**Denabug**

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**The room was still. The air was filled with tense fear and the smell of lying. There were no windows and the lights above focused onto them. There sat Zelda, Link, Mario, and Peach in half beaten red chairs. The cameras started rolling as Dr. Toad stepped through the door. Then the applause from the ever anxious audience wanting to feed on the troubles of others.

"Welcome to Dr. Toad!" Dr. Toad announced in his ever so happy to be here tone. "We come here today to work out a few problems between these saviors and the saved." Tension was building as past memories were soon to arise. "Why, Zelda, did you cheat on Link?"

"I was never with him," she exclaimed.

"So rescuing you fifteen times doesn't count as being together?" Link quickly hissed.

"OOOOOO," the audience said together.

"Did you ever stopped to think that maybe I don't like you," she yelled.

"I rescued you fifteen f***ing times b**ch. We should have already done it by now. I am your savior, it is in the contact that you most love me!"

"Contract? I never signed a damn contract!"

"Yes you did. Do you remember the time when you were drunk?'

"That doesn't count," she hissed. " You have one too many tequila and the whole world is against you!"

The audience is peaked with excitement. They wait for the first chair to be thrown or a fight to break out. The guards watch Link and Zelda cautiously.

"Well," Dr. Toad broke in, "We have some interesting results. It turns out a couple of years ago Link did sleep with Malon."

"I was a kid. It was before the master sword. What do you expect? Zelda never gave me any. If I was going to skip seven years I was gonna get some first."

"You pimp!" Zelda screamed.

"I am!" Link said as he covered his mouth because of what was announced.

"So it is true. You just wanted me to be another one of your whores."

"It didn't turn out that way at first." Link goes into another flashback. _Malon, Ruto, Saria, all the girls wanted me. I thought why not get some use out of this. It was my opportune time to make money. _

"If I would have had you I could have got the new train." Link muttered.

"Some more interesting results have just come in. It turns out that Zelda is bi. Her other lover is Saria.!" Toad announced.

"Sorry Link, you just didn't have the full package. Zelda was all I wanted and more..." Saria said as she jumped out of the audience.

"What about the phone call the other day?" Link whimpered.

"It was to tell you that our relationship and your business was officially over," Saria signed.

"What was Malon whispering about me then?" Link whined.

"It was about your child she had seven years ago!" Saria said.

"Ouch!" The audience exclaimed.

"I have something else to say," Saria cried, "Zelda, will you marry me?"

Zelda stared off into the distance. Saria didn't know about her and Ganondorf. "I..."

The door busted open as the one and only Ganondorf stepped in. "She can't," he cried, "because she is pregnant with my child!"

Saria started crying. "You B**ch! You told me you loved me. You whore!"

"WHYYYYY!" Link crawls into a fetal position and starts rocking back and forth. _I will not get in you. I will not grab your rudder. No! NO! NOT FASTER!_

The audience is in shock and Dr. Toad is speechless. Peach and Mario stare at each other in surprise. The truth came out and it was more than anyone could handle.

"Well, we will catch up with Peach and Mario next time. Bye everyone." Dr. Toad rushed to Link. He was going to need serious help with the flashbacks and the trauma. The lights dimmed and shapeless figures sat in the dark. Tension more then ever filled the air as Zelda was finally revealed was a true cheater.

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**Thanks again for reading. Please tell me what you think. I will add more chapters if I know someone's reading. ENJOY!**

**Denabug**


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